A few days ago I asked Gary to take the conversation we'd recorded together off of the internet. This was in no way an expression of dissatisfaction with Gary's project, or with what we'd produced together. I loved the way we'd managed to record the fragile sense of new friendship growing in between our divergent ideas. I loved the tiny bundles of light drifting along the wall behind Gary while he listened. As excruciating as it was to hear my own stuffy-nosed voice rambling from one subject to the next, I also saw in this piece the chance to be brave in showing our spontaneous thoughts without any further mediation.
Naturally, our conversation drifted from ourselves to several of our dearest friends. My relationship with one of my dearest friends was, in fact, one of the things I most wanted to talk to Gary about. In the comfort and excitement of a fresh conversation, I see now Gary and I may have forgotten that we were, in fact, producing a somewhat public document. While I am comfortable with everything I said, I realize now we both may have said more about some of our friends than they would like the world at large to know. It is in their interest that I decided to ask Gary to remove our conversation. Even though we ourselves might choose to be cavalier about our pasts, and our secrets, we must let our friends make the same choice for themselves.
I see here a great lesson to be learned. As we grew comfortable, we grew more candid, and several details drifted into our afternoon that were a bit too specific for the ravenous curiosity mechanisms that prowl the internet. To remove only the details from our conversation would have been such a monumental editing task for Gary that we must, instead, withdraw the recording from public eyes. In doing so, I am sad to see such an interesting document sealed away. It is a loss, at the very least, for both Gary and I. Perhaps, although we must lose this material, we have both learned a bit more about finding a delicate balance between our private and our public voices.
Colin Beattie
